Love is Love

I have a wonderful opportunity with the blog to create a conversation that I haven’t seized yet. Every time I started to write something, I didn’t feel inspired. I’ve sat on the cusp of writing political entries, more biographical information, etc., but nothing resonated.

Start with what you have.

I have officiated three ceremonies in the past few weeks: I have love stories.

Yesterday I officiated a ceremony for two women from New York State—they came to California from New York to get married because the governor of New York has agreed to honor marriage licenses from California.  Pat and Eve have been together for 25 years—they’ve shared half their lives in partnership. At the last minute, Eve’s brother joined them from Austin, TX and Pat’s sister flew in from New Jersey—their nephew also came to support them.

Pat and Eve are beacons of certainty—when I went to meet them outside the clerk’s office at City Hall, they had already scoped out the building for the best spot to hold the ceremony. They had the license in hand and family eagerly waiting to start.

We took the elevator to the 4th floor where they “staged” everyone for the ceremony; Eve insisted that family be present and not take photos during the ceremony. Once in place, I looked at Pat and Eve to start the ceremony–they were holding hands tightly, the sides of their bodies hugging.  Love was literally resonating between them and emanating from their eyes. It’s incredibly touching to witness two people who have been committed in partnership for 25 years—to witness how excited they are about their relationship.

The ceremony I use has some beautiful language, but nothing is ever as moving as the vows written by two people for each other. In her vows, Pat said that their relationship of 25 years is a living vow, a testimony to their love and dedication to one another.

A living vow.

I had never cried before at the ceremonies I’ve officiated, but the poetry of their words matched by the evidence of their commitment overwhelmed me. The ceremony was moving for me personally and, I believe, moving in the more universal sense. A disproportionate amount of time and attention are devoted to observing suffering; I hope these ceremonies help to balance the scales by observing love and the impact it has on our families and communities.

When a ceremony goes well and contributes meaning to those attending (or officiating), it’s the love of the couple that generates the aliveness and flood of open-heartedness. This was truly a beautiful moment and one I feel very grateful to have been invited to share.